I'm laying in your front yard are you home
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.