I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
