Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
