I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
