So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just gargled with NyQuil
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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