well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
