I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
