Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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