Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
