I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
