he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
