If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
