you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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