I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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