I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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