How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
