What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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