Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
