so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
