ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
