What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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