I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
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I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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