She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
