The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
