Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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