Already got asked if we're dating
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.