ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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