I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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