dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
