remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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