3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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