the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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