1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I would ride that face into the sunset
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
