Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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