Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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