ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
