Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
