I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
