dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
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the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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