There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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