With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
do nipples grow back?
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