Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
