Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Porn is love you can see.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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