Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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