You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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