dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize