I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
