he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
