I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
