am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
