ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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