Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
