Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
