i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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