is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
