Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
