I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize