I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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